A year ago, I made a pitch to my friend Clif about being the commencement speaker when Sophie graduates from Missouri State. He laughed, of course, but the seed was planted. A couple of months later, he announced his plans to retire from presidential duties at the end of the 2023-2024 school year.
As my nephew Henry would say, “That’s called comedy.”
There has been a lot of talk about graduation speeches recently. Even though I don’t know when or where I might have the opportunity to deliver it, I figured that now would be a good time to put my first attempt down on paper. I am not a celebrity like Brad Meltzer who deserves 20 minutes to deliver a speech. This first draft will be considerably shorter.
To the Class of 2024,
You have spent the last four (or so) years studying and reading and researching and writing and dreaming and thinking and worrying about and planning for the future. You have made it to this day — the commencement of “the future” — and I want to begin by saying Congratulations. We are so proud of you. Take a deep breath and be proud of yourself.
Now, I have one request.
Take everything you have learned and go play.
Go play. With all of your heart. Every single day. For the rest of your lives.
Everything I am about to tell you, I learned while playing catch. I didn’t play catch because I was a gifted and talented athlete. Looking at me, I can see how you might make that mistake. The truth is my baseball career ended as a 16-year-old junior varsity benchwarmer. I played catch, every single day for an entire year, because my daughters encouraged me to try it and see what would happen.
Which brings me to the first thing I want to tell you: Pay attention. Put down your phones long enough to look up and look around in wonder and awe. This third curveball from the sun is filled with inspiration everywhere you look. There is a deep magic in this world and its invitations most often come in quiet whispers and unexpected questions.
“Dad, what would happen if you played catch every day for an entire year?” my daughters asked.
It was an unexpected dinnertime question and invitation and I was paying attention.
The short answer: It would change my life.
I am an introvert and I get nervous quite easily. There were so many times I was scheduled to meet with a catch partner who was a complete stranger. On those occasions, I recalled a quote from a movie that my daughters and I love – We Bought a Zoo. “Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage.”
When I think of courageous people, I think of Jackie Robinson and Rosa Parks and Nelson Mandela and Teddy Roosevelt and Helen Keller and Malala Yousafzai and Abraham Lincoln.
I, on the other hand, am afraid of snakes and speaking in front of people and going to the dentist. I would never describe myself as being courageous.
The word courage is derived from an old, old Latin word that means heart. Courage originally meant, “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Courage requires us to put our hearts into our work, into our efforts, when we don’t know the outcome.
On those occasions when I was meeting a stranger, I took a deep breath and, for just twenty seconds, I acted like I was the best catch player in the world. And then, the deep magic happened. This stranger and I would shake hands and introduce ourselves and start throwing a baseball back and forth, figuring out how we best played catch together. Often we talked about the most random things. We asked questions of one another and shared stories and the anxious nerves went away.
Play increases curiosity, and curiosity speeds the revealing of the deep magic in the world. As Ted Lasso says, “Be curious, not judgmental.”
After fifteen or twenty minutes of playing catch, something nigh-miraculous happened. I had made a new friend. Take a moment and think of the friends you have made during your time on campus, the serendipitous ways you first connected, and the delightful ways those connections were strengthened.
Deep magic.
Friends are those people who encourage you, even when you don’t realize you are in desperate need of encouragement. Encouragers speak truth from the heart to give others strength.
Just like my daughters did when they first prompted me to play catch.
Their inspired question sent me out into the world where I made so many new friends, heard so many amazing stories, and made me ask questions and start learning things.
For example, did you know that playing catch is an infinite game.
The whole point of playing catch is to make another throw. Throw. Catch. Repeat. It really is just that basic. It’s not a means to another end. It’s not about perfection or performance. It’s not a game of winners and losers. An infinite game is a game that is a journey of creativity and adaptability and exploration.
What happens if we play catch with our non-dominant hands? Try it and find out.
What happens if someone sees us playing catch and wants to join in? Invite them to join and find out.
What happens if you play catch in a snowstorm? Put on a bunch of clothes and try it and find out.
In his book The Practice, Seth Godin writes, “The most important parts of our lives are games that we can’t imagine winning. We don’t do this work hoping that we will win and the game will be over. Play to keep playing. Each step is movement on a journey that we can only hope will continue. It is simply a chance to trust ourselves enough to participate.”
Infinite games are all about having the courage to get in the arena and find out, thank you Teddy Roosevelt. Infinite games push us to live and grow and fall and get up and just keep swimming, thank you Dory.
Playing catch is one of those cool infinite games that is a with activity.
Shannon Alder said, “One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone.”
Playing catch is an infinite adventure that is supposed to be shared.
Life is an infinite, adventurous game that is supposed to be shared.
There are no winners or losers. It is a journey of creativity and adaptability and exploration and wonder.
When we play, if we are really paying attention, if we are really playing with a new friend with all of our heart, we might witness even more deep magic.
When we play, there are those occasions when time will disappear. You will have stepped into a thin place.
“Thin places” is a term from Celtic mythology and tradition. “Thin places” are locations and settings where the veil between heaven and Earth seems to almost disappear. There is an oft-quoted Celtic saying, “Heaven and earth are only three feet apart, but in thin places, that distance is even shorter.” They are sacred spaces that are hard to describe in words alone. Thin places are meant to be experienced.
For example, the first time I walked to the edge of the Grand Canyon, I felt as though I was in a thin place. I don’t know how many times I said, “Wow,” and just stared off into the distance.
When you step into a thin place, you will have crossed over from the world of chronos time, the world of quantitative time, to the world of kairos time, the qualitative world of time.
Chronos time is life measured and counted. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. It’s the time of the daily grind.
Kairos time is life lived to the fullest, sucking the marrow out of life’s bones, realizing that every single step you take is on holy ground. It’s the time that makes life worth living.
When you are in the midst of kairos time, when you play so fully and free that nothing else matters, you will experience the deepest magic of all.
You see, most simply put, play is that which brings us joy and connection. And when you play with someone else, sharing joy and paying attention to them, where time becomes irrelevant, that is also known as love.
Love, the strongest power in all creation, is the deepest magic of all.
Wherever your feet may take you,
In whatever career paths you have chosen,
With whomever may cross your paths,
May you go play,
With all of your heart,
Full of courage and as encouragers,
Paying attention,
And so transform this world
With love.
